Love Yourself

“And the second is like it: ‘you shall love your neighbor as yourself.'” – Matthew 22:39

Do you love your neighbor? Is it hard for you to genuinely extend love to those around you? More importantly, do you love yourself?

To love yourself is not a self-centered admiration or focus on oneself at the expense of others. Rather, it is an appreciation for who God created you to be, along with a desire to express that same appreciation to others. It is a love born out of your love for the Lord. It is an appreciation for who you are in Christ.

The scripture did not say love your neighbor as you love God. But rather, after instructing us to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, and mind, it tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves.

Why is it necessary to love our neighbor as we love ourselves? The assumption made here is that we naturally love ourselves. It is easy to measure our love for ourselves and then extend that to others.

What if we do not love ourselves; what are the consequences? If we do not love ourselves, then we cannot love others since the same love we have for ourselves is the love we extend to others.

How do you know if you do not love yourself?

• You exemplify false humility.
• You constantly use self-deprecating comments about yourself.
• You allow yourself to be abused by others.
• You don’t see yourself deserving of anything good.
• You are quick to condemn yourself.
• You reject what God says about you.
• You do not love others.

If this is the case, then we can logically conclude that if we love God but struggle to love others, it means that we do not love ourselves because we cannot give to others what we ourselves have not yet received. You cannot give what you do not have. Giving what you do not have leads to eventual self-destruction.

If you have ever been on an airplane and listened to the instructions before takeoff, you are always instructed that in case of emergency you must first secure yourself before securing anyone else, including children. This is so that you are able to live long enough to help others.

If you are severely hurt or dead, you are no good to anyone. The trials of life are like airline crashes; unless you are secure in your own journey, you are in no position to be of service to others.

Why then is it that many God-loving Christians do the exact opposite and crash? They confuse loving yourself with serving yourself. Just because I love myself first does not mean I serve myself first nor does it mean I put my interest before others. Rather, it means I do not serve you or put your interest first (at my detriment) because that would not be love.

Loving myself allows me to continuously love others unconditionally without requiring anything in return for that love since the love I give you is out of the abundance of the love I have. If, then, the love I give you is out of the abundance of the love I have for myself, it does not take anything away from me but rather gives me great fulfillment.

How do I love myself?

1. Love God.
2. Accept the way God created me unconditionally.
3. Forgive my shortcomings.
4. Forgive others as Christ forgave me.
5. Exemplify real humility by giving God the thanks and glory in my life.
6. Take responsibility for myself and the things God has given me stewardship over.
7. Know that every “failure” comes with opportunity. Jesus’ blood hasn’t failed me yet.

My prayer for you is that God will give you the grace to love the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself.