Love Does Not Parade Itself

Are you a boastful person? Do you make a public display of your accomplishments or what you do for others? Does every conversation have to revolve around you?

“The boastful shall not stand in Your sight; You hate all workers of iniquity.” — Psalm 5:5

I grew up in the home of an entrepreneur and politician. This was a dangerous combination for an unsaved person. Worldly entrepreneurs are best known for their self-confidence, arrogance and can-do attitude while politicians are typically known for being slick, self-serving and self-centered. When you combine the two you often get someone who makes decisions like whom to love and what they are willing to do for you based on what advances their interest and makes them look good. They are always looking out for number one – even when they are doing something for you. They parade what they do for others so everyone knows that they did it. Even when they ask, “How I can serve you?” What they are really asking is – how can I get what I want from you by pretending to help.

The Apostle Paul’s fourth expression of love in I Corinthians 13 is again a description of what love is not. He states that love does not parade itself or, does not boast. What does this mean and why does this pose a hindrance to love?

If you have ever attended a parade, everyone’s attention is on those in the parade. Every person or group in the parade has one objective; to draw as much attention to them as possible. The way they dress, the way they talk and the way they walk is designed for everyone to notice them. This is what it means to parade one’s self, to say and do things that lack substance and are wholly purposed to shine the spotlight directly on ourselves. This is why the Apostle Paul in I Corinthians 13:3 says, “And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.”

So, if I do these things only to parade them around or boast about them so everyone sees how good I am, then I did them for the wrong reason. It is meaningless. Anything done that is not motivated out of sincere love is meaningless.

How do I know when I’m parading myself?

• When I do things for people that are for my own benefit
• When I remind people of everything I did (or do) for them
• When all I talk about are my accomplishments
• When I say or do things only to gain attention
• When I’m not happy if I’m not the center of attention

Jesus gives us an example of this in Matthew 6:1-8. He talks about those who perform charitable deeds, then make certain to tell everyone. He talks about those who like to pray in public only so that people will notice them. Think for a moment about their motives, they are not doing good deeds or praying out loud because of their love for others and God. Rather, they are drawing attention to themselves. That, as Paul describes, is not love.

Parading ourselves or being boastful can also be a major hindrance to loving our spouses; it can cause us to focus the relationship only on our needs rather than on our spouse’s needs. Love does not parade itself. What I do for my spouse and others, I do not do so as to draw attention to myself or to build myself up. I do it because I truly want the best for them. Even if they never say thank you or do anything for me in return, my ability to love them is not hindered because I did it unconditionally.

My prayer for you is that God will give you the grace to resist the temptation to parade yourself so you may love others unconditionally.