Moments of Disappointment

“Then Jesus said to the twelve, ‘Do you also want to go away?’“ — John 6:67 (NKJV)

How do you face moments of disappointment? Do you exemplify the fruit of the Spirit? Do you respond with love? Are you overwhelmed with peace? Do you exercise patience? Do you portray kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, or self-control? And how do you treat those who may have disappointed you? Do you still give them unconditional love?

If you live long enough someone will disappoint you. Whether it is your husband or your wife not following through, your children not living up to your expectations, a business partner not honoring their commitment, an employee not fulfilling their responsibilities, a vendor not delivering on her promise, or a family member or friend not being there for you when you need them most, it can be guaranteed that someone will disappoint you. Disappointments are a part of life and how entrepreneurs and leaders handle them define who we are.

Jesus experienced disappointment in several moments of His ministry. He was disappointed by the rich young ruler for walking away because he was unwilling to give up his riches. He was disappointed when the disciples fell asleep on Him rather than praying with Him in Gethsemane. Of course, He was disappointed that Jerusalem would not embrace His message. Jesus wept over Jerusalem knowing the full negative consequences of the choice they made. Jesus did not allow the disappointing moments to distract Him from His mission, nor did He allow it to impact His attitude towards people. He loved them unconditionally and continued to intercede for them in spite of the disappointments. Even knowing the disciples would betray Him, Jesus would still intercede before the Father for them. Jesus maintained the course of His vision and calling in spite of the constant disappointment from others.

To be disappointed means to be displeased or sad because you were let down. Something you hoped would occur did not happen. We are often disappointed when we put our expectations on man rather than God. Jesus knew not to put His trust in men (John 2:23-25).

To avoid being disappointed or to minimize the chances of being disappointed, like Jesus, you must put your trust in God and not in people. Believe in the potential of people, but place your trust in God. People in their best intention disappoint – but God is faithful. When you put your trust in God, He works even the worst disappointment for your good. When you put your trust in people, it positions you for a potential let down. It also leads you to put more expectation on people than they can realistically deliver. This does not mean you should be cynical. Instead, place your trust in God and not in people, remembering however that people are often the vehicle through which God delivers on His promises of faithfulness.

How can you overcome disappointments?

1. Ask the question, “What does God want me to learn from this?”
2. Forgive the person – no matter what they did
3. Forgive yourself for trusting in people and not in God
4. Pray for those who disappoint you
5. Renew your commitment to focus on God and not people

Moments of disappointments are great opportunities to do the following:

1. Refresh our perspective and remind ourselves of man’s limitations.
2. Learn of the faithfulness of God
3. Recognize our vulnerability to be tempted to look to people first for our security

Disappointing moments also serve to test our patience and thus reveal where we are spiritually. What fruit do we manifest when we are disappointed? Do we manifest the fruit of the Spirit or the works of the flesh? Disappointing moments allow you to discover areas within yourself that you must work on.

My prayer for you today is that God will give you the wisdom to not put your faith in people. May He also give you the grace to put your trust in Him and Him alone.

We will continue our discussion on 12 Leadership Defining Moments next week with the topic Moments of Personal Loss.