Godly Confrontation

Now when Peter had come to Antioch, I withstood him to his face, because he was to be blamed.  – Galatians 2:11

The amount of hypocrisy that builds up among God-fearing people due to fear of confrontation is amazing.  We would rather talk about each other to other people than to talk to each other directly about our concerns and disappointments.  Since conflict is a normal part of relationships, an environment where confrontation is seen as an offense is often full of hypocrisy, un-productivity and unfulfilled people.  Without confrontation there cannot be resolution.  Without resolution, the will of God is stagnate and relationships and businesses are unprofitable.

Godly confrontation is an attempt to resolve issues through direct action, with the goal to redeem the situation or relationship.  Godly confrontation is never intended to offend but always designed to redeem, although people may be offended in the process due to misunderstandings or disobedience.

In Galatians 2: 11-14 we see a good example of Godly confrontation. The Apostle Paul, who was new to the faith, noticed that those who had been in the faith long before him, including the Apostle Peter, would eat with the Gentiles. However, when the converted circumcised Jews were around, they would separate themselves from them.  So Paul boldly confronted Peter with these words, “But when I saw that they were not being straightforward about the truth of the gospel, I said to Peter before them all, if you being a Jew live in the manner of Gentiles and not as Jews, why do you compel the Gentiles to live as Jews?”  Galatians 2:14

The Apostle Paul recognized that not confronting Peter directly, but talking to others about the situation, would have made him a hypocrite and hindered the will of God from advancing.  Confronting Peter helped him to recognize his wrong doing, which enabled him and others around him to line themselves up with the will of God.  This in turn made them great witnesses before the Gentiles, thus advancing the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ.  When we do not confront we make matters worse and give place to the enemy.  How do you confront in a manner that allows God’s redemptive purpose to be realized:

1. Make sure you know your facts.
2. Do not make assumptions.
3. Do not attempt to interpret motives.
4. Make sure your heart is pure and that you are operating out of love.
5. Go to the person directly, privately if possible.
6. Never confront by email, always in person and if you must, use the phone or snail mail, but never email.
7. If the person does not respond, apply Matthew 18:15-17.

Confrontation is not easy but the alternative is much more painful in the long run.  Those who suffer from the lack of confrontation can be cowardly, overly merciful, may have a lack of knowledge on how to do it, or just do not want to offend.  Whatever your reasons, seek the help of others and build the courage to confront the people and the situations that are not operating in line with God’s best in your life.  Yes, you may lose friends and even business associates, but you will have peace of mind and rid your life of the hypocrisy that is produced when you are not confrontational.  I encourage you to take time to identify any person or situation that you need to confront and believe God for the grace and courage to confront them.