Do you REALLY forgive and forget?

Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.

As human beings, we are brought up in different backgrounds and we are set on different beliefs from what we are used to. This can make us collide at some point in our day-to-day interactions knowingly or unknowingly.  When misunderstandings occur amongst us, how do we deal with them? What approaches do we use to communicate that our feelings have been hurt or that we don’t agree with the other person’s actions?

Disagreements come with a lot of emotions and assumptions. How we perceive and react to our feelings is largely affected by our levels of stress. Low-stress levels allow us to resonate well with situations but high-stress levels make us react on impulse.  We need to understand that no matter how much we think we are trying, there are people who will always try to find faults in us some of which may or may not be true and this may make us develop grudges and resentment towards them. Even after sorting out the issues at hand, we find ourselves still recalling the hurt. Why is it so difficult to forget after forgiving? This does not only apply to others but ourselves as well.

When we don’t forgive those who hurt us, we end up carrying the pain and hurting others who don’t deserve to be at the receiving end. And also when we don’t forget, we carry what we perceived in the beginning and make a false truth. In order to move on from the pain, we need to forget when we forgive but the forgiveness needs to be done in love.  Forgiving others and ourselves the way that God forgives us fastens our healing and restoration process and we should not allow our perception of criticism whether positive or negative hinder us from achieving this.

Leviticus 19:18″Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.”

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