box of chocolates

Phone calls are like a box of chocolate.

You never know what you’re going to get!?!


On Oct 15, 2014…I got “the call”.

You know…

the kind you pray you’ll never get,

the kind that changes everything – forever.

“Mom, I just left the doctor.

They want to do more tests.”

Please God – NO!

In 24 hours the diagnosis – and off we go into the deep, dark valley of breast cancer.

Heartbreak – tragedy – fear.

Hanging on for dear life – literally.

Yet – we have seen God bigger – stronger – more trustworthy than we ever imagined.

Today the doctors shake their heads.

The treatment was ineffective – yet the tests continue to confirm that God has healed her.

How many ways can I  thank God for doing what man and medicine could not?!?

Everyday I praise him.

Every day I thank him.

Everyday I stand in awe of what He has done!!!

Then…almost exactly one year later…the phone rings again.

“Hey Mom.”

It’s that sweet voice.

I’m busy cooking for a small dinner party that evening…but I know when my girl needs to talk.

I pick up my glass of water, leave the kitchen and settle into my favorite chair.

Oh how I love these times.

(As I look back, I know there have been far too many times when I thought I was “too busy”.  But now…it is moments like this that I treasure most!)

She goes on to say something I wasn’t really prepared for:

“Mom…I know God has healed me.

None of what I am about to say negates or changes how strongly I believe  that.


Yet there is a profound new reality that I live in:


                          This life – this world – this is not all there is!


None of us really know how many days we have left here on this earth.

And when the Dr told me I should probably take the next couple years and do the things I always wanted to do…I had to really begin asking God what he had to say about that?


He keeps telling me it’s all about creating memories.

He is also telling me…

If I am the first to go home…I will be the lucky one.

It will be you…my Dad…my brother…my incredible husband…my beautiful girls…the family and friends who love me who will be left here to deal with the loss and sadness – not me.


God has clearly shown me…

It’s NOT about the memories I want to create.

It’s about all of you.

It’s about making sure the things you always wanted to do with me get done.


If  I never get my farm house and horses.

If I never see the the Northern Lights or the Eiffel tower aglow at night.

That’s really OK…

My life today is more blessed than I could have ever imagined. My home – my family – my church – my incredible community of friends…all amazing!


So…I’m calling today to ask you what memories you want to create with me?

I want you to think about it and let’s get to work tackling YOUR bucket list!”

Can I just say, I’m completely blown away!!!

What greater love than a daughter who would lay down her own desires to fulfill mine…and those who love her???

As I have reflected.

As I have thought about my “Amanda Bucket List”…

It is memories of Saturday afternoon conversations just like this that I treasure most.

These are the memoirs I will carry with me forever.

                    To know the heart of another is the greatest gift of all.

Thank you for sharing your heart with me, Amanda.

Yes…that is the sweetest memory of all.

I love you my BFF-E

(Best Friends Forever and Eternity!)