If the waiting is long…you might be able to put it out of your “everyday” thoughts…but then as “it” draws closer..anxiousness raises it’s ugly head again!
Busyness is my “go to” move.
But that never works for long.
Wherever I go…there “it” is!?!
Then…there is this tightening that happens in my chest making it hard to get a really deep breath. Over the years, I have learned that is my warning signal. It’s God’s way of reminding me that I am dropping back into that “all-too-familiar” place of fear.
In that moment, I know – right then and there- I must return to those things that raise my faith! Not just the “background” kind of faith that sustains me through the everyday things of life…but the roaring lion…God is mighty…I have nothing to fear…kind of faith that must be used against this kind of assault!
Yesterday was just such a day.
Every 90 days they do the blood work and look at something called “tumor markers” to see if my amazing daughter Amanda remains cancer free?
“O’Lord, I believe…help me with my unbelief!”
I clear my schedule and head straight to the spot in my house reserved for “quiet time” with God. It is my place to pray – hard and honestly – offer heartfelt thanks – and dive deep into the solace of His Word. Most importantly it is where I talk with The Lord – listening, seeking, asking, and where I slow down long enough to remember all God has done and the countless times he has rescued me and those I love!
Opening my ipad…clicking on the bible app.
I have been in the study of Revelation and expected the last chapter of study to open automatically – as it always does.
But not today?
Today, Psalm 40 pops up on the screen!
Where did that come from???
Is that you, God?
Is that you reminding me of your power to rescue?
Is that you encouraging me to continue proclaiming your saving acts…never to conceal your love and faithfulness?
Then, this Word from The Lord stopped me in my tracks:
vs 14…may all who want to take my (daughter’s) life be put to shame…turned back in disgrace.
vs 16…may all (especially me, Lord) who long for your saving help always say “The Lord is great!”
And finally the cry of my heart:
vs 17…you are my help and my deliverer; you are my God, please do not delay!
Wow…I could finally breathe…and wait in faith – NOT fear!
Hours later…the phone rings…my heart races…
One word: “NORMAL!” … the blood work came back NORMAL!
We weep together thanking God yet again for his saving grace.
Amen and Amen!
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